Summer, the best time of the year. No homework, no waking up early, no one-hour-long bus drives, no exams. It is just me and my phone. All I do is lay on my bed and rot the whole day, watch reels or finish a whole series in one day. It is what I have been waiting for for six months. I get the pleasure I need from basic and fast things. I don’t have to work for it. What I am doing is just what the whole of humanity wants. It is getting the most out of very little time and effort. I am not very good at maths, but I am pretty sure that this is what is logical. I really enjoy this system other people have set for us.

 

A notification falls down on my screen while I have been thinking about these in my mind. I have reached the screen time of eleven hours. This is much more than I would have expected, but it is summer; what could I expect? All teenagers around the world have similar screen times as mine. It is normal. I am the same as other people. This really relieves me, doing the same with other people. If other people are doing it, then it must be the right thing to do. Right? There are a lot of people that find the herd mentality nonsense, but it just makes life much easier. Why would it be nonsense?

 

I continued spending the rest of the day doing the same thing and having little smiles on my face every few minutes from the videos I watched. I lost my consciousness on time as always, and didn’t even realise it was three in the morning. So I decided to go to bed with the worst headache ever. I didn’t even bother to brush my teeth or even change into pyjamas. I just put on a blanket and closed my eyes as if some force that I couldn’t resist was pushing them, just a sense of tiredness which I had no idea what caused it to surge. I also had no idea about what would happen the next morning. Why would I think about the next day when all I’m doing is literally nothing? Now that I think about it, I wish I did nothing. I wish I had stared at my bedroom wall in silence the whole time. That would have been much better than my high rises and low falls. At least I would have gotten to see how high falls were.

 

I was woken up with a shout, calling out my name. I opened my eyes for a second but then continued to sleep until I realised this wouldn’t stop the sound. It was a deep voice, mixed with some coughs, probably belonging to someone old. The voice got closer and closer until I could feel a hot breath near my face, some stinking garlic and eggplant smell that caused me to get up with coughs. When I opened my eyes I realised that this was no one other than my grandma. What was she doing here? She would only visit us on holidays and special occasions. I am pretty sure that today is no special than any other day. I finally said, “Hi grandma, were we expecting you?”. She gave me a humiliating look as if I had asked the most stupid question ever. She opened her eyes tightly frowning at me “I don’t think I have to get permission to visit my own daughter’s house. Do I?”. She is a tough one to manage. I mean, at least she could have called us the day before instead of just randomly entering our house shouting out my name. Obviously I can’t tell all these to her, so I just kept my humbleness. “No, sorry, you definitely don’t.” 

 

Then, there was a loud silence that lasted long enough for my grandmother to leave my room, saying, “I just made some pancakes. I don’t think cold pancakes would be nice for breakfast. So my dear, come as fast as you can. Today will be a tiring one for you, you need energy.” I need energy? I had no idea what she was talking about, but she definitely had way different plans for me than mine. She probably had a reason for not letting us know before she came. She wanted it to be unexpected on purpose. I don’t know what she has behind all these, but I am so close to learning it. 

 

I put on my slippers and go down the stairs with my fastest steps, waiting to get the sugary scent from the pancakes grandma had just mentioned. But what a disappointment that as I descended there was no scent which proved the pancakes’ existence. I did not expect to see a bowl, mixer and eggs on the table when I entered the kitchen. All I wanted was to see some maple syrup and a stack of buttered pancakes. But no, grandma did actually have way different plans for me.

 

I couldn’t speak while I was trying to make sense of these. I gave a look to my grandma, asking what they were all about. She smiled as if expecting this look from me and said, “Today is your day of high falls and high rises. First, you will be giving me that phone which you’re glued to, and then we’ll be making some pancakes together.” She saw the disappointment in my eyes caused by not getting what I asked for. She answered my eyes with, “I will say what all these are about later on. Now, just do what I say.” She gave me a gaze with a shine in her eyes. “Today, it’s just you and me. Mom and Dad are out on vacation. And before you ask, yes, all of these were planned weeks ago.”

 

I first thought she was joking, but she looked pretty serious. She thought that I would give my phone to her but no, I didn’t want it. All I wanted to do today was nothing. Then I saw her eyes going to my hand, which held my phone, then right back into my eyes, trying to tell me I don’t even have a choice to do that. So I surrendered and gave it to her. I could see the greed in her face from winning to a sixteen-year-old. 

 

We spent the next hour making pancakes. I mean not we, I spent. What my grandma did was only give the instructions and criticise all my steps. It was totally drowning for me. These pancakes better taste like heaven or I don’t know else. I don’t think pancakes are meant to take you more than fifteen minutes to make, but it seems like I will break a world record. 

 

Finally, it was the moment of truth. I put the pancakes on a plate and drizzled on some syrup. I grabbed my fork, holding it with great pride and stabbed it into the pancake. I don’t know how, but this was such a dreamy moment. I had been working for these for a long time and now I had reached the end, the best part. Just as I was about to reach into my mouth, grandma interrupted, “Close your eyes, dear. It will make it such a heavenly feeling.” And I thankfully listened to her. I don’t even remember when I felt like this before. I melted with each of my bites, and grandma was right: I was in heaven, on top of clouds. 

 

It was that moment when I realized what all these were about. There was no need for grandma to explain it. She also knew there wouldn’t be the need. All these years, I had been showing no effort to get my dopamine, and it was freshly served to me. Dopamine shouldn’t be something that you reach that easily, you should work for it. This way, it will feel like you’re having more dopamine, just because of the effort you gave. Of course, I have eaten pancakes several times before, it is definitely not my first time. It's just that this time, it tasted different. The taste had some colour in it, it somehow had emotions.